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Showing posts from 2016

To Be a Kid Again

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My wife and I promised our boys we'd take them ice skating this New Year's Eve and we made good on it. I haven't been on skates in ages and the sum total of times I have can be counted on one hand.

My youngest son is a big three, which means he's closer to four and he was unfazed when I laced up his tiny skates. He walked with a purpose to the edge of the rink, but when he stepped on the ice, his confidence shattered. His feet went in different directions like a foal outside a barn and he screamed from the top of his lungs for me to get him out of there. Problem was, I couldn't.

He held my hand as I clutched the wall and the two of us spiraled our way forward with the other skaters. At times, he would clutch me as if he was hanging off a cliff. Then a young girl came by and asked me if my son was learning how to balance. She couldn't have been much older than six. She told him to keep his legs straight, bend his knees, and walk like a penguin. I don't think…

Top Five Hottest Instagram Models II

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Billy Joel Plays 33rd Show at Madison Square Garden

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You can tell Billy Joel enjoys what he does for a living. From the moment he walks on stage, the room shrinks and the audience feels like they're sitting in his living room. These days, that living room happens to be Madison Square Garden.

He called his 33rd show at MSG, the "Halloween" show, and peppered his fans with the themes from Halloween, Friday the 13th, The Addams Family and Jaws along with a raucous snippet of "The Monster Mash" amidst "The River of Dreams."

While "You May Be Right" on any "Long Night" with the "Piano Man," I was thrilled when "The Downeaster Alexa" won the "toss up" over "Say Goodbye to Hollywood." Ya-ya-ya-oh! Strong Island in the house!

I brought my "Uptown Girl" to the show for our ninth wedding anniversary as she's wanted to see Billy Joel for "The Longest Time" and, well, "She's Always a Woman" to me.

We embraced our "…

The Body

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The body is a source of sheer delight and immense disappointment. It is unique to each of us. It can be sculpted and it can change its shape without warning. We are its master and its victim.

Elle Macpherson was known as "The Body" after hers graced the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue again and again, meanwhile Jesse "The Body" Ventura used his on the battlefield, the wrestling ring, and the political arena.

The body of a newborn begins its journey to the body of an octogenarian. The intricate systems of the body keep it moving from start to finish, through shrieks of agony and pulsating electric shocks from the embrace of a lover.

It appears in scripture and in strip malls. It's in our work. It is the one thing you know best and hardly at all. We stare at it in the mirror and we stare at other versions on the beach or in the gym. At times, we covet it like a jewel.

Artists opine about the beauty of a body in masculine and feminine form. Scientists dissect i…

Working Man Blues

When that odd day comes
and I'm finally out of debt
I shall sit in a soft chair and
light up a cigarette
I will enjoy a good smoke
then I'll let out a sigh as
I think of all the days worked
and the time gone by
The bills will be paid
my stomach well fed
I'll watch some TV
before I go to bed
and dream of all the things I have
and those I should get
and in no time at all
I'll be back in debt.

Other poems:
ConfidenceThe Good Outweighs the Bad Fifty-FiftyBluff

Ireland Baldwin Treats Us to a Lady Picture Show on the Heels of Dylan Penn

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Far from a rude, thoughtless little pig, Ireland Baldwin will appear in a "some like it hot" portfolio by Arthur Belebeau in the number 11 issue of Treats! Magazine on the 4" heels of Dylan Penn who appeared in the number seven issue. Seven or 11 is quite a come out roll for the luscious pair who continue their ascendancy and are no longer a secret. Check it out:









Mourn the Slain

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Mourn the slain
of every color and domain
Oppose the violent and profane
and wisdom of the criminally insane
Violence begets violence, there ain't no gain
Tyrannical politics fanning the flame
No common decency to ease the pain
Just surging hatred toward fellow man
In the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave
Nobody's right unless someone is wrong
Each one of us deciding who does belong
Not a different tribe or religion
Blindness stands in way of our Founders' vision
that we are endowed by our Creator
Who sent forth a lover, not a hater
Who stood only as tall as the smallest one
and told us to love each and everyone
But we keep trucking a different lane
At speeds too fast to mourn the slain
and foot too heavy to hit the break
and a fury too blind to see our mistake.



Other poems:
ConfidenceThe Good Outweighs the Bad Fifty-FiftyBluff

Loss for Words

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Loss for words
Planting grass seed for birds
Picking up doggie turds
Outside in the sun

Can not think
Ground needs a drink
Birds don't blink
Kids shrieking with fun

Pause to breathe ...
Birds starting to leave
Kids start to believe
New green grass will come.



Other poems:
Pencil SkirtsHawaiian Surf PrincessThe Face That Launched a Thousand Ships

Matt Harvey: The Dark Knight of Gotham Will Rise

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People of Gotham, have you lost your Vulcan minds? Mets fans, have you been infiltrated by front-runners who switch their allegiance as casually as they transfer from the 4-train to the 7-train? Have we collectively sunk into deep despair as we watch the villains pillage our city in the absence of its protector?

Indeed, we have.

We've seen the movie before. It was released in 2012, the very same year Matt Harvey first took the mound in Gotham Citi Field and gave the few who still believed, hope. He put the franchise on his shoulders and was invincible. He wrestled headlines and models away from the Yankees Captain and brought back a swagger reminiscent of his Hall of Fame predecessors Tom Seaver and Mike Piazza. He walked the tightrope and he did backflips on it with the snap of his cape before disappearing into the shadows to await the next arrival of would-be assassins from DC, Philly and The Bronx. If he let up just one run, the fat lady would sing in her operatic voice.

How m…

Who Is the Girl in the El Dorado Spa Resorts & Hotels by Karisma TV Ad?

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Often times a long journey can lead you back to the beginning. Such was the case in my quest to uncover the model featured in the El Dorado Spa Resorts & Hotels by Karisma TV ad.
You know the one, she's wearing a white string bikini, leaning against a four-poster bed on a sandy beach, watching a man in blue boardshorts approach. It's a stunning ad, produced by Dorn Martell from Tinsley Advertising with original music by John Jay Martyn and Jimi Ruccolo on guitar. I uncovered all of these contributors, including the voice-over-artist, Jodi Krangle, in my search for the woman in the white bikini.


What prompted me to set sail on this odyssey? While the sensuous ad targeting the luxury traveler was the vehicle, the catalyst was as ancient as Helen of Troy, desire.

"I wish that was my butt," said my wife. 
"Me, too," I said. But whose butt is it?
A Google search led to countless other searches, taking apart the ad over and over again on YouTube, going throug…

Top Five Hottest Instagram Models

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February Comes and Goes

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February comes and goes
Where the days go noboby knows March comes in like a hungry lion  to eat President's Day leftovers nobody's buyin Beware the Ides says Great Caesar's ghost or was it a Hollywood Oscar host? Easter risin like a cat on a spring jumpin upon you like a sudden fling Pollinating flowers into new born buds Sittin on a cooler knockin back suds  The days grow longer with nothing to do The heat presses down on your frizzy hair-do The leaves change and the air grows brisk while Wall Street portfolios mitigate the risk The holidays swirl and smack you like a tornado New Year's Eve ball drops at midnight, wait though ... I haven't had time to change my clothes Another February comes and goes.


Other poems: ConfidenceThe Good Outweighs the Bad Fifty-FiftyBluff

Man Escapes Office Run by Zombies

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NEW YORK, Jan. 31 -- A young man was rescued from a local business in Midtown yesterday that was run by brain-eating zombies.

"At first I didn't realize I was among the undead. There was not a lot of chit chat in the office and coworkers seemed to stare blankly at their screens all day. It was similar to my last job," he said.
The young man would see coworkers assemble and leave the office together around lunchtime, but only a few would return. These coworkers along with his managers often walked by him as if he was invisible.  
"I said hello to one woman each day who was always standing by the coffee machine, although no coffee ever seemed to come out of it," he said. 
He reports the work was mindless and that his biggest challenge was remembering his Windows login. 
"When I'd struggle to remember my password, a crowd of coworkers would gather near my cubicle and grunt at one another, but once I logged in, they'd vanish," he said. 
It was whe…